Hi friends! I'm back with another interview in the Marriage & Medicine series! Today we're chatting with Savanna Perry, a physician assistant and wife to a internal medicine resident. We met over on instagram and I was thrilled to come across Savanna and her friend Emma's blog. It's called Life as a Doctor's Wife and is yet another great resource to help all of us feel a little less alone. They're just getting started and I so look forward to all of the amazing posts that are sure to come. :)
Let's get into the interview!
Tell us a little bit about yourself. How long have you and your partner been together? Where are you in the medical journey?
Hi! My name is Savanna. My husband, Lane, is currently in his internal medicine residency, and in a few months he'll have his first year under his belt. That means only 2-5 years to go! We started dating at 18 right before we went off to the University of Georgia. We were both Biology majors, and after graduation Lane went to medical school and I attended physician assistant school. Luckily, we were able to attend the same school! We got engaged right before school started, and our wedding was in between the 1st and 2nd years of our schooling. I have an amazing job as a dermatology PA, and thankfully, we were able to stay put for residency. We've been married for 4 years now, and officially together for 9. Time flies!
What’s been difficult lately?
Lately, I would say the most difficult thing has been making decisions. Lane is trying to decide if he wants to do a fellowship after residency, and what he wants his career to look like. It seems far away, but there's so much pressure to think about those things from day one. Medical careers are so dependent on test scores and being published that if you want a certain field you have to commit early. Then there's the decision about when to start a family. There are days that I would love to have a baby now, but I want Lane to be involved, which would be pretty difficult right now.
How do you find joy in your circumstances?
Before Lane started residency, I made a decision that I was not going to be dependent on him and that I would have to basically do my own thing a lot. I made that mistake a few times while Lane was in medical school, and it always ended with me being upset. Knowing Lane got "off" at 7 PM, I had dinner on the table, but then he wouldn't actually get home until 11 or 12. Changing my mindset has helped me to not feel as lonely or sad when Lane can't be there. I'm involved in a women's bible study, I make plans with friends, and I've even gone on some trips without Lane. While I hate that he can't be there, it keeps me from feeling bitter about our current circumstances.
What’s something you’ve learned about yourself and/or your relationship lately?
The biggest lesson I've learned recently is that I don't always know what Lane is feeling. He's been studying for Step 3, but he put off scheduling it for a while, and now he has to take it in a different city. I was frustrated because I felt like he was being lazy. After we actually talked about it, I understood that he's actually just really nervous. It's important to have clear communication and try to get to the root of what your husband is feeling so you can support him well.
What’s the best advice you could give to someone else in your shoes?
Hang in there and find a community! Also, make the most of vacation time when it happens. My husband honestly just wants to rest when he has vacation, but he indulges me by going places too. I always make sure to take some of my vacation days during Lane's vacation, even if we do just spend time together at home. It's important to reconnect and relax together.
Savanna...thank you SO much for taking the time share your story and advice. I can so relate...especially to the part about the difficulty of making decisions! Best of luck to you and Lane in the future. And I can't wait to read more of your blog posts over at Life as a Doctor's Wife! :)
Love & Respect,